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Ghost with Auburn
Hair, The
Review: 10
Well, today is
another gray and rainy day in this town.
Kind of makes you think that life is nothing but a succession
of shadows and
gloom, dark clouds and chilly winds, interspersed with the promise
of a little
sunshine now and then to maintain enough of a fiction so everyone
keeps
going. Gray and cold. Old and fray. Wet and chilly. That's how
the day looks.
That's how I feel. That's what this day makes me feel if I'm
immersed in
reality.
Good thing that
I still can dream and fly. And it's always harder not to
wander away. To warmer places. To sunnier places. To places in
which I can be
whoever I dream of being. To places in which I can meet the woman
I want at
will.
If I look through
the window I can see her walking. Funny thing. I haven't
seen her face, ever, and yet here she is: smiling, saying nice
things in a
voice that's caressing me, full of sweet overtones.
"Hi. How are
you?"
"You look as if you need a break. Would you like to have
a cup of coffee
with me?"
"Well, we can go to this coffee shop, close to my place"
"So, what are we waiting for? Let's go"
And all of a sudden,
we are neither in this time, nor in this town. We're
somewhere in the middle of a dream, looking at each other, sipping
Capuccino
and talking of our lives. We're frozen in time. Words coming
and going without
a finish line. Words coming and going, dancing with the music
of our eyes,
following the rhythm of a more intimate connection. Here we are:
the first
man and the first woman, repeated ad infinitum. The first blood
and the first
heart beat. Always the same and yet always new.
Her face is changing
with the slow movement of the moon. Her words are
wrapping me with the laces of rainbow. Her eyelashes are hypnotic.
Her
mouth is more than tempting and this is not a coffee place, this
is a forest
and she's casting her spell. I look but I want to see. I see
but I want to
dream. I dream but I want to have. Her words are falling and
they sweep me.
I've played the game of seduction many times, but every new look,
every
promise of flesh anew, every new whisper of the garden of wantonness
washes
out my old sins. It's me, fresh, again. It's my skin without
memories, without
owners, without repeats. I'm a virgin one more time. Did I say
that it's
funny?
Well, it is. I haven't seen her. I know nothing of the space
her body
occupies in time, the space that her contour steals from the
air. The space
that her eyes cut from the light. And yet she's making me dizzy
with needs
that I never knew I had. I'm Adam, I'm Tao, I'm Gilgamesh and
Ra. Sex is being
born with me. Sex will die with me. Sex is her name. She is
the night that
holds me and nurtures me. She is the night that will bury me.
Sex is her name.
Suddenly, we are
not in the coffee place anymore. We're in her room. And
there's music being played from some old record. Her body strokes
mine as we
try a few languid, lazy dancing steps. As in a Humphrey Bogart's
movie, I hold
her, feeling the softness of the naked flesh of her back. I
hold her and
feel the warmth stream of her breath in my cheek. She's in my
arms, devoid
of a will other than the will of feeling. I softly lick her earlobes,
to
taste the sweet flavor of her fresh skin. I feel the voice of
lewdness
growing in the back of my neck and traveling throughout my body.
I sense the
pinch of desire nesting in my groin. Possession is the name of
this painting.
Lustful strokes from an old Dutch master's brush. How can I want
her so madly,
so deeply? I need to melt in her. To be in her. Doesn't she
see that I'm
hurting? And my only relief can only come from her wet flesh,
from the deep
of her sex, from her scented juices and oozing tissues.
But I don't want
to surrender to this single urge. I don't want to retreat
after a burst of heat. I want to revere her body and soul forever.
I want to
explore her every cleft and nook with my lips and my tongue,
and my fingers
and my bones. I want to knead her muscles with my avid hands,
pursuing the
harmony of relentless passion. One hour, and another, and another,
until time
goes away with its sad-filled rhymes.
No. I don't want to abandon myself to orgasm. I want to keep
the feelings
flowing, unstopped. I want to lay the fabric of pleasure at her
feet, as a
magic carpet that will take us to ancient Bashra, in the domains
of Haroun-al
-Raschid or Scherezade or Al-Manzur. Traveling in thin air. Swirling,
twisting
, flowing, softly falling and never reaching the sands of extinction.
Overwhelmed by
our senses, simmering in carnal consumption, half way between
the dream and the reality of our bodies. That's how I want to
take her, that's
where I want her to lead me. To the constellation of her breasts,
to the
black holes of her chin, to the heart of her warmer, inner fantasies.
I
want to be an astronaut over her limbs, a diver in her pores,
a climber on
her hips. I want to melt and become jelly fish in the deep of
her vagina. I
want to trace the stars spread on her hair. I want to suck her
sex juices
and kiss her soul out of her mouth. I want to be hers, in her,
for her.
I want her to take me. To swim in my veins. To join me. To come
to make a
splash in my blood and in my semen, in the fluids and essences
of my being, in
the fluids and essences of my thoughts.
And then I dream
of death striking, taking us exhausted, satisfied, wholesome,
full of pulp and languid tissue, to the island of void.
Now, there's no
room. There's no coffee place. There's no love left. Just a
gray, rainy day. Just a bunch of feelings and longings. She has
no face, no
legs, no hands and her spirit comes back to being a ghost. Sand
blown away
by a gust of wind. I haven't seen her, ever. I don't recognize
her voice.
I don't even match her self and my desire.
There's just rain, cold wind, and dark clouds. No space. No place.
No room.
Kind of makes you think that life is nothing but a nightmare,
only bearable
if you stop dreaming. |